Clearly an article in jest, but there seems to be just a little too much truth in it. I don’t even know where to start unpacking this.
Modern Principles of Museum Administration
by A. Sinnik
From Museum Work, June 1919
Definition of a Museum
A museum is an institution for the collection and display of objects that are of interest only to their owners.
It is also a place where paintings, bric-a-brac, trophies of the chase, etc. are deposited whenever their owner needs to have them stored temporarily without expense to himself.
The Director and His Duties
The Director is appointed to carry out the wishes of Curators, to sign requisitions therefor, and to take steps to provide necessary funds.
He should see that each Curator gets what he wishes, while at the same time getting no more than the other Curators think he should have. In practice these duties are sometimes in conflict.
Another important duty of the Director is to receive applications for jobs from persons who have no knowledge of museum work, and to consider the purchase of worthless specimens.
The director has no rights, bit it is customary to allow him certain privileges and the Curators will see that these are not abused.
No Director is qualified for the position he holds. This applies equally to anyone who may succeed the present incumbrance.
Curators and their Duties
Curators are to be selected for their lack of interest in the public.
They should preferably be engaged in some research of personal interest, if possible on some abtuse subject that connot be finished during their lifetime and will promptly be rejected by their successors. It is also desirable that such research should entail the purchase of expensive books (see paragraphs under Library).
The principle duty of Curators is to make requisitions for supplies and services; it is not however required of them that they should employ their leisure time to do this nor expected that they will sit up nights to draw up requisitions.
If a Curator calls at the office of the Director when the latter is absent, he should leave a requisition on the desk.
Each Curator is to be provided with a private office, and an office for his stenographer. If any room is left, it may be used for the Director’s office. They should have assistants to look after the museum work and laborers or attendants for the care and arrangement of materials on exhibition.
Of the Library and the Purposes Therof
The Museum Library is a place where books may be carefully concealed from Curators. The Librarian should see that books particularly desired by Curators are not purchased. This stimulates the interest of Curators in the Librarian, and a Curator would be surprised and disappointed at finding any book he specifically needed.
Curators on their part will be careful to ask for rare or expensive books. If these are obtained, the Curator should then decide that they are unnecessary.
Curators should take care not to return books promptly, especially if they are likely to be needed by other departments. This leads the various departments to take an interest in each other’s work and may elicit candid and instructive comments theron.
Preparators or Perpatrators
The aim of the Preparator, or as he is sometimes more accurately styled Perpatrator, is to prepare series of un-finished objects; hence he should not complete any piece of work. In accordance with the principles laid down under General Considerations, as much time as possible should be spent seeking for new and complicated methods of work. His opportunities are greater in museums of natural history than in museums of art, though the work of the natural history perpatrator is often termed art because it has not resemblance to nature.
An important duty is that of carefully removing labels from objects that pass through his hands; if they can not be mislaid they should be transposed. This gives the Curator or his assistant stimulating employment and occupies time that might otherwise be wasted in what is termed research.
Attendants
Attendants and cleaners should not be less than sixty years of age, and preferably in poor health. Incapacitated servants, incompetent clerks, and decrepit or slothful laborers, therefore make the best and most acceptable attendants.
Their principle duties are to read the daily papers and discuss family affairs with one another. Any time not thus occupied is at the disposal of the nearest Curator.
The elevator operator shall be provided with a comfortable seat and interesting literature. He shal make it a part of his duties to discuss personal matters with attendants on the various floors, and officers and visitors should not interrupt him when so engaged.
General Considerations
Each and every department of a museum is superior in importance and methods of administration to any and every other department. There is a seeming paradox in this, but it is practically the only point on which all Curators agreed.
As a corollary to this, it is not expected that any Curator should take any interest in the museum as a whole. Expense and time should never be considered in planning exhibits or rearranging collections. Therefore any economical method of work is to be disregarded if a more expensive method can be devised.
Rules and regulations should be made to conform to the convenience of the employees; if this cannot be done, it shows gross incompetence on the part of the Director.
Suggstions to Visitors
No visitor should harbor the delusion that the Director, or for that matter any member of the museum staff has anything special to do.
Visitors wishing to see the Director on unimportant matters should preferably call about lunch time or just before he wishes to leave the building. Visitors really desiring information should be treated with silient contempt.
Any visitor not finding on exhibition any object he may wish to see displayed and labelled as he thinks should be done is requested to file a complaint with the Trustees.
In most occupations people are supposed to know something about the work in which they are engaged, but with museum work it is different and the less acquaintance one has with museum administration and the fewer facts he has to interfere with his theories, the better.
Hence, visitors should not hesitate to offer Museum Officers advice — it is stimulating to the visitor and enlightening to the Curator.